Stressssssssssssss

Such a small word, yet such a big impact on someone's life.

But, I'm working on letting it go. Cool, huh?

The main thing I'm working on letting go is "friends." Not my friends, real friends. Those I'll hold onto. Duh. But my "friends" who manipulate me and only talk to me when they need me, they're gone. I can't take it anymore. I have way better things to worry about and take care of.

For example, all three of my grandparents are pretty much on their way to the grave. Especially my Opa.

Or my sister, who is so worried about college and finding a job in Fort Collins that she is a tiny bundle of nerves.

Or money, as my bank account is slowly shrinking due to a lack of work.

Or getting past Kiernan and letting him go.

Or the fact that I probably have ovarian cysts (waiting for test results...) which probably means I'll need a hysterectomy which means I won't be able to have my own kids.

I don't care anymore if you like me or not. If you're my friend, you'll act like an adult and quit trying to manipulate me and use me. I already know who my real friends are from over the years, and if you want to stick around you should probably realize that OTHER PEOPLE HAVE PROBLEMS BESIDES YOU. Even I know that. Yeah, I have problems, but there are people out there who have way worse problems than I do. So put on your big girl pants (thanks, Dr. Cox) and deal with it.

On a more positive note, God has been doing some amazing things lately! (Like helping me let go of stupid drama and fake friends, and taking care of myself before I take care of others.)

At Bible study on Friday we were talking about how He transforms us. Sometimes we notice it, other times it's in the blink of an eye. I think He's slowly been preparing me for a transformation, and then in a blink of an eye transformed me. And it was amazing. Just out of nowhere, I realized that what I've been praying for came true, and that He has lifted one of my biggest burdens. He's awesome.

He's showing me how to get rid of my pride and become more like Him. He's been helping me develop patience and empathy, and He's really showing up everywhere I look.

I'm so thankful for what He's doing in my life. I'm so thankful for the real friends He has sent me. I'm so thankful for my family and the healthy relationship with Kyle He's sent my way.

Things are seriously looking up now, regardless of all the hard stuff I'm dealing with, and I'm thrilled. Thank You, Lord. You are wonderful.

Wow, this blog is so all over the place, haha. Totally didn't realize it. Oh well, it's how my brain works :)